Dear Mia,
We've been home about three days now, and it's great! Sure, we've had to watch our step around the house to make sure we don't land on a toy, and we've had to keep our eyes peeled for the things that catch your eye we didn't anticipate a few weeks ago, but what I really love is seeing how you light up when Ethan walks into the room and how he laughs when you do something silly. I have frequently said you are such a sweet and silly girl, and it's great that you have brought this into our home.
As in all things, it hasn't just been wine and roses. Two words: JET LAG! Honestly, I had no idea the impact jet lag would have on our family, and in particular, you. Mommy and I dealt with it some when we went to China, but since we had a couple days to rest before things got really cranked up, it didn't seem too severe. But making our way back home? After a busy and stressful two weeks of meetings, paperwork, and getting acquainted with you? And relearning what it takes to add in the rhythm and flow of a toddler? Wow! But that's on mommy and me, and we can handle it. What the jet lag has done to you, though, makes my heart ache.
Your whole life was spent living 12-hours ahead of us. You were winding down for the day when we were just getting started. You were sound asleep when we were having our meals, and you were learning and playing while we were resting. We did pretty well when we were on your time, but you coming into ours has been a challenge for which I wasn't adequately prepared. In our efforts and endeavors to bond with you and facilitate your bonding with us, we must add in the cruel vixen of angry sleeplessness.
In our middle-of-the-night adventures, I took the opportunity to learn a little bit more about jet lag. First, I learned it takes about a day per time zone crossed to recover. The farthest I have ever flown before now was two time zones, and that wasn't a big deal. But 12? Really? You mean we're only about a quarter of the way through this?
Secondly, jet lag can be tied to when our bodies tell us it's time to eat. When I learned that, the fact you were waking around 12am (your previous lunchtime), 3am (your previous snack time), and 6am (your previous dinner time), things began making sense. Your mom and dad were telling you it was time to sleep while your internal clock said it was time to party. As a result, no one was having any fun. You were angry. We were bewildered. None of it is pretty.
The third thing I learned about jet lag is the best way to battle it is light. Our biorhythms are set by the rising and setting of the sun, so even though we have been waking for the day around 4am, as soon as the sun comes up, the blinds are opened, you're stripped down to your diaper to maximize exposure, and we are pumping you full of water and healthy food. It seems to be working, because we had a better night last night, even though it was still a short one. We got about 5.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, or the grand total of what we were getting in full the previous two days.
Seeing you this morning after that much sleep (which is still about half of what you should be getting, knowing we still could have another week-to-ten days of this) has been pretty neat. You are beginning to explore the house now, and playing with your toys. We are hearing more intelligible words from you, and that smile is shining brighter than the sun flooding our living room. We also have gone the longest period now between your complete category-5 meltdowns, but that's a blog for another day. I know it's still early, but after these three days, we are getting glimpses into our future. Together.
All that makes me think of another 3-day period in history a long time ago when there was probably quite a bit of sleeplessness. Jesus had just died on the cross, and his friends and followers were trying to understand what in the world they just witnessed. They were grieving his loss and fearful about what was ahead. When Jesus was around them, they knew they were in the presence of the light; but with His death, they felt as though they were living in darkness. Then, after that 3-day period, when God the Father raised Jesus from the grave, the promise of scripture that light had come and darkness could not overcome it was kept. A new future with hope was established as perpetual light flooded the world.
Granted it's still early in this lifelong process, I see some parallels here I want to share with you. Mommy and I have been completely and thoroughly exhausted. You have been completely and thoroughly confused. We all are grieving a little bit — you are grieving the loss of familiarity, and we are doing the same in a way. But this process is changing us for the better, and it's incredible to experience. Though we admittedly feel like the walking dead right now, we know that with the light comes all new hope. And my dear Mia, that light isn't just with the opening of the blinds, it comes with the beams from your face as you grow more comfortable in your new family and share the specialness that is you. Light always has — and always will — dispel the darkness, and we are able to experience the light you bring to our home anew. Sure, we're still utterly exhausted, but seeing you "come back to life" after a long few days of travel and the resulting sleeplessness helps us gaze beyond the bleariness our eyes can currently see.
So we still have a little bit more time before our sleep and feeding cycles are synced, but we are in this together. It is a promise your mommy and I made many months ago, and now have the time to reveal to you. I can't imagine how tough all this is on you, but we are here and will walk this path together. In time you will be better able to rest assured knowing that a new ray of light has entered all of our lives. Sure we need to watch our step along the way, and not just to avoid the toys that are now scattered around the house, but to help you process the past, look to the future, and know you can trust and love us to help you along the way.
As I click "publish" and send this post into the blogosphere, I sit and watch you play with your toys. May God fill all of our lives with new hope and a future so we can move these middle-of-the-night parties to the bright of day and enjoy the healing sleep at night that we all desperately need.
But until then, pour me another cup of imaginary tea.
Love,
Dad
We've been home about three days now, and it's great! Sure, we've had to watch our step around the house to make sure we don't land on a toy, and we've had to keep our eyes peeled for the things that catch your eye we didn't anticipate a few weeks ago, but what I really love is seeing how you light up when Ethan walks into the room and how he laughs when you do something silly. I have frequently said you are such a sweet and silly girl, and it's great that you have brought this into our home.
As in all things, it hasn't just been wine and roses. Two words: JET LAG! Honestly, I had no idea the impact jet lag would have on our family, and in particular, you. Mommy and I dealt with it some when we went to China, but since we had a couple days to rest before things got really cranked up, it didn't seem too severe. But making our way back home? After a busy and stressful two weeks of meetings, paperwork, and getting acquainted with you? And relearning what it takes to add in the rhythm and flow of a toddler? Wow! But that's on mommy and me, and we can handle it. What the jet lag has done to you, though, makes my heart ache.
Your whole life was spent living 12-hours ahead of us. You were winding down for the day when we were just getting started. You were sound asleep when we were having our meals, and you were learning and playing while we were resting. We did pretty well when we were on your time, but you coming into ours has been a challenge for which I wasn't adequately prepared. In our efforts and endeavors to bond with you and facilitate your bonding with us, we must add in the cruel vixen of angry sleeplessness.
In our middle-of-the-night adventures, I took the opportunity to learn a little bit more about jet lag. First, I learned it takes about a day per time zone crossed to recover. The farthest I have ever flown before now was two time zones, and that wasn't a big deal. But 12? Really? You mean we're only about a quarter of the way through this?
Secondly, jet lag can be tied to when our bodies tell us it's time to eat. When I learned that, the fact you were waking around 12am (your previous lunchtime), 3am (your previous snack time), and 6am (your previous dinner time), things began making sense. Your mom and dad were telling you it was time to sleep while your internal clock said it was time to party. As a result, no one was having any fun. You were angry. We were bewildered. None of it is pretty.
The third thing I learned about jet lag is the best way to battle it is light. Our biorhythms are set by the rising and setting of the sun, so even though we have been waking for the day around 4am, as soon as the sun comes up, the blinds are opened, you're stripped down to your diaper to maximize exposure, and we are pumping you full of water and healthy food. It seems to be working, because we had a better night last night, even though it was still a short one. We got about 5.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep, or the grand total of what we were getting in full the previous two days.
Seeing you this morning after that much sleep (which is still about half of what you should be getting, knowing we still could have another week-to-ten days of this) has been pretty neat. You are beginning to explore the house now, and playing with your toys. We are hearing more intelligible words from you, and that smile is shining brighter than the sun flooding our living room. We also have gone the longest period now between your complete category-5 meltdowns, but that's a blog for another day. I know it's still early, but after these three days, we are getting glimpses into our future. Together.
All that makes me think of another 3-day period in history a long time ago when there was probably quite a bit of sleeplessness. Jesus had just died on the cross, and his friends and followers were trying to understand what in the world they just witnessed. They were grieving his loss and fearful about what was ahead. When Jesus was around them, they knew they were in the presence of the light; but with His death, they felt as though they were living in darkness. Then, after that 3-day period, when God the Father raised Jesus from the grave, the promise of scripture that light had come and darkness could not overcome it was kept. A new future with hope was established as perpetual light flooded the world.
Granted it's still early in this lifelong process, I see some parallels here I want to share with you. Mommy and I have been completely and thoroughly exhausted. You have been completely and thoroughly confused. We all are grieving a little bit — you are grieving the loss of familiarity, and we are doing the same in a way. But this process is changing us for the better, and it's incredible to experience. Though we admittedly feel like the walking dead right now, we know that with the light comes all new hope. And my dear Mia, that light isn't just with the opening of the blinds, it comes with the beams from your face as you grow more comfortable in your new family and share the specialness that is you. Light always has — and always will — dispel the darkness, and we are able to experience the light you bring to our home anew. Sure, we're still utterly exhausted, but seeing you "come back to life" after a long few days of travel and the resulting sleeplessness helps us gaze beyond the bleariness our eyes can currently see.
So we still have a little bit more time before our sleep and feeding cycles are synced, but we are in this together. It is a promise your mommy and I made many months ago, and now have the time to reveal to you. I can't imagine how tough all this is on you, but we are here and will walk this path together. In time you will be better able to rest assured knowing that a new ray of light has entered all of our lives. Sure we need to watch our step along the way, and not just to avoid the toys that are now scattered around the house, but to help you process the past, look to the future, and know you can trust and love us to help you along the way.
As I click "publish" and send this post into the blogosphere, I sit and watch you play with your toys. May God fill all of our lives with new hope and a future so we can move these middle-of-the-night parties to the bright of day and enjoy the healing sleep at night that we all desperately need.
But until then, pour me another cup of imaginary tea.
Love,
Dad
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