Wednesday, January 23, 2013

On Flies, Honey, and Vinegar



Yesterday was an interesting day in our family, and one that has left an impact on me. Ethan, who is on the Academic Bowl Team for his school, was preparing for his first meet. It is not unusual for him to experience nerves before such things – perfectly normal, right? – and he experienced some upset tummy issues preceding the event. I was certain it was just nerves, as were the teachers who were there to support and encourage the kids in their competition. As the event went on – and our school did very well, placing second in the meet – Ethan obviously was not feeling well. He had to make repeated visits to the restroom, but every time, was accompanied by one of his faithful teachers. After the event was over, poor Ethan only got sicker, proving that his affliction was not nerves, but a bona fide stomach and intestinal virus. When I asked how he was able to compete, and contribute significantly to his team, he indicated that he did not want to let his team or teachers down. I was stunned and so incredibly proud!

I allowed the events of Tuesday evening to ruminate in my spirit. When I woke up on Wednesday, I was still impressed by Ethan’s resolve and the inspiring events of the previous day. This led me to write a letter to the principal informing her of not just how faithful the teachers had been, but how compassionate as well. I also wanted the principal to know that the encouragement Ethan received from his teachers enabled him to power through the competition when in all honesty he would have far preferred to go home and crawl into bed. I realized there was a cycle of encouragement that I needed to participate in and I wanted to make sure that the administration knew just how important it was, not on a Tuesday afternoon, but in what could be a significant life event in my son’s life.

Almost as soon as I sent the complimentary email to the principal, I got a very kind reply. She indicated that she was pleased that I took the time to write a note and wanted to make sure that the teachers saw it as well. Then something struck me: we are far more willing to share our displeasure with something or someone than our appreciation. I think it is true and I know it is sad. There have been times in the past when I would have good service at a store or a restaurant that I would share that with management, and almost every time I hear that they typically only hear complaints, not compliments. And honestly, as a leader in the church, I have found this to be true as well – as human beings, we seem to be more adept at sharing our complaints than our compliments. Sure, squeaky wheels get the grease, but maybe, just maybe, wheels wouldn’t get quite so squeaky if we let people know how grateful we are and how much we appreciate them for doing things for us, even when it is their job!

In 1 Thessalonians 5.11, the Apostle Paul wrote, “So speak encouraging words to one another. Build up hope so you’ll all be together in this, no one left out, no one left behind. I know you’re already doing this; just keep on doing it” (The Message). I love this verse. It speaks to this phenomenon, I do believe. The more we make an effort to encourage someone, the more likely we are to go the extra mile and make a difference for someone else in the midst of their daily coming and going in life (see Matthew 5.41). It reminds me of the old idiom, that it’s easier to attract flies with honey than vinegar.

I hope you will allow this concept to do more than just go in one eye and out the other as you read this article. I hope you will think about how quick you are to compliment or complain about someone or something. Know that an encouraging word from you for someone else – even when they are doing what they should be doing – can and will make a difference. May the wisdom of Proverbs 12.25 stick with you and inspire you to do something to brighten someone’s day: “Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” You never know…you might just realize how much even you yourself needed to shine a little light for someone!


Have a great rest of the week!
Pastor Mark 

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