Remembering...

I lost my grandmother, affectionately known as GaGa, on Monday (October 22, 2012). She had just turned 91 in September and had been in failing health for a while. She had dementia and lost control over her mind and body, and it was so sad to see…so sad and I must confess I didn’t handle it as well as I should have. I did not call or visit anywhere near as frequently as I should have. I miss her terribly, though I have closure after telling her goodbye shortly before she passed away peacefully into the arms of her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Since then, our family has engaged in the profound experience of sharing lasting memories in stories and experiences, and it has been so helpful. Many of these stories are of events that we all witnessed or experienced first-hand, but there is something cathartic about sharing, laughing, and shedding tears – because of our grief and also laughing so hard – as a way to grapple with our love in light of our loss.

I have many memories of my grandmother; in fact, some of my favorite childhood memories are of being at my GaGa’s home with my brother, sister, and cousins who were my heroes as a child, but that’s a blog for another day. GaGa lived on Lake Blackshear in Cordele, Georgia and had a property right on the water. Our visits always included boat rides, fishing, grand fish suppers, attempts at skiing (still can’t get up on skis to this day), hunting for fossils and arrow heads, and keeping an eye peeled for swampy wildlife. It was a kid’s dream, and even though I am more of an insufferable city boy today, those are cherished memories of times that have helped shape and form me into the person I am. And even though I am guilty of allowing the busyness of life to prevent me for visiting as often as I should, I love taking Ethan down to GaGa’s and sharing my memories and stories while teaching him to bait a hook, eat a fish and hushpuppy, and drive a boat while navigating the waters.

Someone asked me earlier today about my favorite memory with my GaGa. I didn’t have to think at all, because this was the story I told on my grandmother’s beloved porch overlooking the water surrounded by family and friends. I was about seventeen and my brother and I had gone down for spring break. She allowed us to bring a friend, so the four of us were on her dock fishing and having fun. In the midst of fishing and teenage frivolity, I remember my grandmother calling out to us from the house, “Boys, just stay right where you are.” I remember turning around and there was GaGa, running down the hill and firing off three or four shots from a .38 pistol. Needless to say, the four of us were shocked until we saw a huge water moccasin – a very poisonous snake – bob up and down in the water until it died from grandmother-inflicted gunshot wounds. It turns out that snake had been swimming toward us and she would not let it get close to her precious grandchildren and their friends. Now I could go on-and-on about what a great aim she had, and how impressive it was that she, at approximately 70 years old, shot a snake from thirty to forty yards out while running mid-stride down a hill, but what strikes me is how she was lovingly watching us enjoy ourselves while keeping an eye out for danger. That is a memory-creating experience that I will carry my entire life!

All throughout Scripture, God calls His people to pause, remember and reflect, and allow those memories to shape the rest of their lives. One of my favorite stories in the Scripture comes from Joshua 4 as Joshua led the Israelites through the Jordan River. The Lord then commanded the people to set up an altar to remind them of what they had seen as GOD acted on their behalf. What I particularly love is in vs.6 and again in vs.21-22 as GOD makes a point that the children will have questions about the things that the Lord has done, and the people are to share those stories and teach them about how GOD loves us and looks out for us. Much like my grandmother did for my brother, my friends, and me that beautiful spring afternoon.

Memory is a powerful gift given by GOD. The Lord has also equipped us with our five senses that connect with memory and help us experience past events in such a real and heart-level fashion. Sometimes those memories bring us joy, sometimes they bring us pain, and sometimes they bring us a mixture of the two. Through it all, however, our memories help us connect our past, present, and future while maintaining the perspective that we have a GOD who is always watching us, caring for us, and helping us navigate the tricky waters of life.

What is it you are being called to remember? Who are you being called to remember? Remembering is a powerful and poignant tool that helps us know that we are not alone, even when times might be tough. So wherever it is that your life has carried you to the very moment where you sit down to read this message, know that your memory is a gift from GOD, as well as a calling to remember your life and the legacy of those who have gone on before you.

I love and miss you, GaGa. Thank you for helping provide some of the favorite memories of my life. And while I must admit that tears are dripping on my keyboard as I type this blog, I remember the promise of GOD that death is not the end – that the grave is absolutely NOT our final resting place – and the time will come when we all will gather in heaven and share the memories and stories of our entire lives with a complete perspective. But until then, I’ll be remembering…