Time Management

This past Sunday we had the third installment of our September message series, Living Room: Managing Life so it Doesn't Manage You. This week’s topic was time management.

In our modern society, technology and modern achievements have helped us develop the notion that we have more time. Microwaves help us prepare food in a matter of minutes versus hours. Computers help us with word processing, paying bills, and research in a fraction of the time it took previously. These advancements should help us maximize our time, but in reality, we tend to try to cram more into our already overloaded lives, propagating a cycle of busyness and burnout. This type of living only further closes in on our living room and isn’t what GOD wants for us; after all, GOD sent us Jesus so we can have life and have it abundantly! (John 10:10).

Our Christian faith is one of action; we hear the Lord say things like: come, follow, give, serve, love, share, etc. We also come to know that there are times when the best action the Lord calls us to are things like: rest, recover, listen, be still, etc. In order for us to enjoy the living room that GOD has planned for us, we must realize that balance is essential!

Ecclesiastes 3:11 tells us that GOD has placed eternity in the human heart, but we cannot understand it. This verse comes right after the lines that remind us we need balance in our lives as it pertains to time management. Read again these words from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace. (NIV)

These verses speak to us of balance, but also about knowing when it is time to do what. This is where our connection to GOD comes in so powerfully! Filling our lives with busyness and distraction only inhibits the necessary time for rest and recovery by being present for GOD. When we make ourselves available to the Lord, then we find the direction and vision we need to be engaged in the world. And making time for GOD helps us make better time with the others He has placed in our lives. We know this to be true, but we also know that the allure and demands of busyness can get in the way, so we need a strategy.

Peter Druker, who is business and management guru, did a study on the most efficient and effective CEOs. What he learned is that these leaders took a different approach to time management than most people. Where some might look first at their schedules to figure out everything that has to do be done in a given period of time, the CEOs tend to look first for their discretionary time, or the time when they have the ability to choose what to do and when. This discretionary time becomes the buffer around which everything else is scheduled. I know that since I learned this, I have been endeavoring to carve out the time I need for my own physical, emotional, and spiritual health (this includes my family time) and then plan the things I have to do for work around those. When I began managing my schedule in this way, I learned there was plenty of time for everything, whereas before, I always felt like time was in too short of supply.

Drucker offered some suggestions, in the form of three questions, that can be extremely helpful in dealing with the tasks that come to us in our non-discretionary time. These questions are:

1)      What would happen if this task were not done at all?

Ø  If the answer is nothing, then don’t do it!

2)      Which of the activities on my schedule could be done by someone else just as well or better?

Ø  Once you know, then delegate!

3)      What do I do that wastes someone else’s time without contributing to their effectiveness?

Ø  Don’t take advantage of others, because you can help them better manage their time, too, without putting any unnecessary pressure on them.

This leads me to the third key for our living room: simplicity! Simplifying our lives and schedules isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it! It is about carving out the time we need to be present with GOD to rest, pray, and recover so we can be present and effective for the people in life who need us.

As we seek the abundant living room that Jesus wants to give, may balance, simplicity, and these simple time management questions help you make the most of your time. You need balance and simplicity when it comes to managing your time, because if you don’t have it, your time will certainly manage you!

Stress Management

I continued our Living Room message series this past Sunday, talking about stress management from a biblical point of view. I got a lot of positive feedback from folks about how helpful the material was, so I thought I’d share the highlights in my weekly blog.

GOD created us to deal with stress. Deep within our hardwiring, we have the “fight or flight” mechanism, which helps prepare us to deal with a stressful stimulus. Within our hardwiring, we have tendencies that drive our natural reaction as well, to either fight or flee. Sometimes we can experience stress when we realize that we need to respond in a way that is contrary to our natural tendencies. For example, if you naturally want to take on a challenge, sometimes it is better to take a step back, assess, and evaluate the situation. On the other hand, if like me, you tend to want to want to withdraw, then perhaps you face a situation where you need to engage a challenge.

Since we all are going to face stress in our life – and not all stress is negative – problems can arise when we begin to project stress into a situation where it might not warrant it. Projecting stress is something that we all do when we try to discern if we are going to need to fight or flee. When we aim to project ourselves into a situation, we are not able to see all of the scenarios, so our minds fill in the blanks with the worst case scenario. As this happens, a cycle of stress is born where we are not only anticipating something stressful, but we are typically stressing over things that might not even happen. This projection of stress creates worry and anxiety.

The words ‘worry’ and ‘anxiety’ carry some unique significance in this concept of living room in the abundant life Jesus came to give (John 10.10). I have said in the past two messages that when life happens, it restricts and constricts our inner world. This is stress. This is worry and anxiety. The etymology of the word ‘worry’ in our Anglo Saxon language means, to choke. And ‘worry’ in the biblical languages means to divide one’s mind. So when we are worrying and experiencing anxiety, our minds are divided and spirits choked. This prevents us from being able to maintain perspective. The cycle continues.

Regarding worry and anxiety, a study revealed the way that we often worry. Check out these statistics:

• 40% of what we worry about never happens 
• 30% of what we worry about has already happened and cannot be changed 
• 22% of what we worry about regards problems which are beyond our control 
• 8% of what we worry about are situations over which we have any influence

Do you find this to be true? I know I do! A simple rule of thumb to remember is the 90/10 rule: life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you respond.

Since we are all going to experience stress, and we are all going to respond in one way or another, then reason stands that our response to stress is really what makes the difference. When we can learn to respond in a way that is consistent with GOD’s plan of abundant living for us, then we will truly be able to manage stress so it does not manage us. Check out this passage from The Message version of Philippians 4.6-9: Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life. Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” 

As you pray to GOD for assistance in your stressful circumstances, know that Jesus indeed wants to come in and displace worry at the center of your life. Carrying your concerns to GOD and then focusing on His character attributes that are directly opposite to your stressors, worries, and anxiety is a perfect way to experience the relief from a divided and choked off mind. This is also essential in keeping the proper perspective when it comes to dealing with the things in life you can control (8%) versus the things you cannot (92%).

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

(Reinhold Niebuhr, 1943)

The Power of Music

A major rite of passage, at least of sorts, occurred in our home last Friday…Ethan got his saxophone for middle school band. When we went to meet the band director, she encouraged Ethan to play the trumpet, but he was not interested. You see, I was a trumpet player myself, and though he didn’t want to offend me, he wanted his own experience. After some contemplation, he chose the saxophone. With eager anticipation, we ordered him a rental saxophone and waited with baited breath for its delivery.

We got home with the sax on Friday after school, and with all the excitement of a Christmas morning, he unpacked his horn and carefully assembled it. After moistening his reed, he placed it in the mouthpiece and blew, producing a pretty decent tone for his first time. Within a couple hours, and without any formal training, he was playing noticeable parts of the theme song to The Pink Panther and The Streets of Cairo, which you might recognize as the stereotypical snake charming song.

There was a sense of pride Tiffany and I detected in Ethan as he began to get the hang of this new passion. The more he played, the more I could see something happening in him…the music wasn’t just emanating from the horn, it was coming from his soul. I know personally there have been numerous times when I have gotten lost in a powerful song in a worship service, a great concert, while in my car, and even while vacuuming my living room. This brings to life a great quote from Heinrich Heine that attempts to define this transcendental shift, “Where words leave off, music begins.”

Music has a power that penetrates parts of the soul in ways words alone cannot reach; this is the reason we use music in worship services. Once music breaks through some of those inner barriers, the Word of GOD is able work its way deep within and do its transformational work of changing us from the inside out. Sure we may not know, or even like, all the songs we sing in worship, but if we allow worship to do its job, we are preparing ourselves to receive the word of GOD as it is read and proclaimed.

Music is very important in the Bible. Throughout Scripture we see instances where music was used to prepare people for battle, call people for ministry, comfort people in pain, inspire people for great works, and challenge people out of their self-defined comfort zones. Music was, and still is, used in a myriad of ways to help us devote our entire life in worship to GOD! One of my favorite images in all of Scripture comes from Zephaniah 3 when we get a glimpse of how life will be when all of GOD’s people turn back to Him. Then we read verse 17, and it’s one I doubt I could ever reflect over enough, “For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (Zephaniah 3:17, NLT, emphasis mine)

Friends, this is an image I absolutely love! Think about GOD singing over you and how that heavenly lullaby must sound. Think about the LORD, the Creator of an ever-expanding universe, who wants to cradle and sing songs over you, songs that only He knows! Like Ethan moving into a transcendental state while playing his new saxophone for the first time, I can scarcely imagine the glory of GOD’s singing over me, lovingly calming my fears, and sharing with me His holy gladness.

So next time you hear or sing a powerful song lifted up to GOD, think about GOD also singing over you. Imagine the melody. Imagine the lyrics. And imagine the life-changing power of GOD’s own song, penetrating deep within your soul, changing you from the inside-out. This is the power of music…this is the power of GOD. So let’s lift our lives as songs to the LORD, and listen for the songs being sung over us. 

You're Invited!

As a child, I remember few things as exhilarating as an invitation to a birthday party! The feeling of being included and my presence being requested to celebrate a friend’s life was always a highlight. Having a young son, I see this over-and-over again as he receives birthday party invitations and Tiffany and I have to play some schedule hop-scotch in order to meet all of our commitments. Knowing how important this is to him, as well as the child having the birthday party, we do everything we can.

I saw this play out last week as Ethan hosted a pool party for some neighborhood kids to celebrate the start of the new school year. We have a child who is new to the neighborhood who Ethan invited to come and participate. This literally made the child’s day, week, and maybe even his year! He must have thanked us a dozen times for inviting and including him. We then extended an invitation for him to join in a slumber party with three other boys and we received another dozen or so thank-yous. This got me thinking about just how important it is to include people in our plans.

We are relational creatures. In fact, this is why GOD created human beings in the first place…for the purpose of relationship. From the study of Psychology, we have learned that one of the most important needs of the human soul is to belong. We see this play out on the playgrounds, in classrooms, boardrooms, sanctuaries, and places wherever people gather. We have an innate and internal need to belong. This applies to the here-and-now as well as the eternal. To hear that you are welcome and wanted just does something to the human psyche and spirit. Whether you are marking a life-defining watershed moment, or sharing in a simple cup of coffee, no one wants to feel as though he/she isn’t wanted or special.

As we get ready for a BIG weekend of celebration, I hope that you will reflect over this need to belong and consider who you might invite to join you for what promises to be a special time. On Sunday, we will celebrate the 7^th birthday of The Lighthouse and the 4^th anniversary of the ministry unification between Lighthouse and Cokes Chapel. We will have wonderful worship with special elements as well as a covered dish luncheon following the 11am service. We want YOU there in order to help us celebrate! We also want you to invite a friend to help US celebrate these milestones. It won’t be the same if you aren’t there, so please, make every effort to be present and help us fill both of our worship spaces as well as the lunch.

I know how busy people are this time of year. I also know how Tiffany and I can feel when Ethan receives a birthday party invitation for what is always a jam-packed weekend. What we have learned, though, is these parties are so important for Ethan and his friends, that we do what we can to make it work. If this is the case for you this weekend, I hope you will do the same and make every effort to attend. It is a Sunday you will not want to miss.

You are welcome. YOU are wanted. YOU belong! So come and help us celebrate. And let’s make the party even bigger and grander by inviting someone else to come with you.

Back to School with the Golden Rule

The dog days of summer seem to get shorter and shorter, don’t they? Since the local school systems made adjusts to the calendar, students get out earlier but go back earlier, too. This really hit me one day last week while doing a little grocery shopping.

I was passing by the stationary and office supply aisle when my attention was caught by a noticeable buzz. There was a sort of feeding frenzy taking place as parents and children were rustling through bins and baskets to pick out the best folders, pencils, crayons, and paper. It brought back all sorts of memories of picking out the tools that would accompany me into a new campaign in the classrooms of my local school. I wanted to be well equipped. So as a parent, I definitely want the same for Ethan as he begin middle school this year.

Tiffany did a great job of helping get Ethan ready for school this year. A week or so before we left on vacation, she and Ethan went and purchased the equipment he would need for the sixth grade. As a side note, it is a whole new world from what it took to get ready for elementary school, but I sense that’s a blog for another time. As they picked out the requisite paper, folders, binders, lunchbox, and book bag, a new item made its way into the shopping cart that had Ethan particularly excited: a combination ruler and 3-hole punch that fits snugly in the spine of his binder. Talk about multitasking…he will be able to punch holes in things AND measure them at the same time! That ruler punch is something for which he is quite proud.

School is a vital aspect of young people learning to become adults. School is so much more than just reading, writing, and arithmetic; it is about facing challenges, persevering, making friends, and accomplishing the seemingly impossible. So when we think about measuring up and keeping a straight line, a ruler is a huge help! Beyond the centimeters and inches, we need to make sure we are sending our children and their teachers in to a school year with the best possible chance for success. They need a standard, a “ruler” if you will, to help provide an answer in a world that is slow to give them.

Jesus gives some timeless advice that I am sure you have heard before. “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”  (Luke 6.31) Many know this as the “Golden Rule” and work to live their life by this timeless principle. It helps when we think of the potential consequences of our actions and how we might personally be impacted if those same consequences were to come our way. Thinking this way can help prevent quick tempered and shortsighted reactions to very real circumstances.

If we were able to completely follow this golden rule, the world would be a different place, let alone our local schools. Treat others like you would want to be treated whether you are in the classroom, lunchroom, bathroom, locker room, music room, or art room. Wherever you might come face to face with someone else, remember Jesus’ timeless advice. You could do much worse than to arm yourself with this powerful piece of wisdom and advice to make a difference in the world around you.

We are not but just a few days into the new school year here in Coweta County, and our neighbors in Fayette, as well as some private schools, resume next week. There is no doubt it will present all sorts of challenges. But if we can remember to treat our neighbors as we would want to be treated ourselves, then we are making great strides toward a wonderfully constructive and educational experience. We need all the help we can get to measure up and keep a straight line. So as you pack your backpacks and briefcases for another day, remember to pack one item you can stand to have in abundance: The Golden Rule! Have a great year.

On Managing Conflict: Perhaps A Different Perspective

Conflict is a very real part of life. It always has been. From the time we’re children fighting over toys to adults clamoring for significance, we seem to always find ourselves in conflict. We’d like to think that accepting Christ into our hearts would bring a dramatic drop to the kinds and amounts of conflict we face, but it does not. If anything they go up because now attacks are not only coming from others but Satan who wants nothing more than knock us down so we are serving him and not God Almighty. So what are we to do?

Fortunately, the Bible has a wealth of knowledge and advice on handling conflict. First, we need to understand the origin of conflict. There are countless reasons for conflict. Some of the most common include pride, greed, and anger. “Pride leads to arguments” (Proverbs 13.10) “Greed causes fighting. (Proverbs 28.25) Anger causes quarrels. (Proverbs 30.33) These aspects of our sinful, human nature bring us into conflict with other people. But if we are completely honest with ourselves, most conflict starts within

James 4.1 says, “What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Isn’t it the whole army of evil desires at war within you?” Many of us can think back to the classic cartoons when a character would be faced with a moral dilemma. Inevitably we would see a little angel appear on one shoulder and a little devil on the other waging battle between what’s right and what feels good. The character would respond in different ways, bringing truth to the old adage that art imitates life. As humans, we know that feeling of internal struggle trying to decide between what we know is right and what feels good. And all too often, we choose the path of least resistance. This predictably places us in direct conflict with ourselves, with others, and with God. It is unavoidable. Paul says it best in Galatians 5.17 as he writes, “For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.”

As people of faith, when faced with conflict, we need to look to God, seek to serve Him in love, and help build up our brothers and sisters. Put simply, we need humility. In Philippians 2.3, Paul writes, “Don't be selfish; don't live to make a good impression on others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourself.” When we seek to build others up first, then God takes care of us.

I am not suggesting we become doormats or dishrags—Jesus was perhaps the most assertive person who ever lived. But in our assertiveness, we must remain mindful of what is lost or gained in the midst of conflict. If we are honest with ourselves, solving conflict takes humility and a desire to see peace more than personal victory. This is not to say we will always be able to avoid conflict. Sometimes, conflict is absolutely necessary to promote justice and righteousness.

When we are in a confrontation, we must remember to keep the focus on the problem and not the person. This is exceedingly difficult at times, but necessary when we consider what is at stake. We never win at the expense of another. We must trust in God to secure the victory and lead us to righteousness. We can never get there on our own. And we will certainly never get there constantly warring with others.

Seek out the root of the problem; let go of your own personal grudges; look to God for guidance when you must engage in conflict; and remember above all else: “… [God] gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15.57-58)

ProcrastiNOT

This past Sunday I taught about procrastination in my message, “procrastiNOT”. I received quite a bit of positive feedback from this message and requests for some of my notes. I figured I would use this forum to share my research and maybe provide a little hope and help for you as you deal with this very real part of our human nature. I taught about the three foundational reasons for procrastination. In this article, I will add two more that I did not use on Sunday in the interest of time.

Fear, mainly fear of the unknown. Since faith and fear are processed in the same part of the brain, it is important to take a step of faith in the face of our fear. Dr. Martin Luther King once said, “Faith is taking the first step when you cannot see the rest of the staircase.” Instead of procrastinating on a decision or action because of fear, take a step of faith!

Perfectionism refers to the notion that if I can’t be perfect, I just won’t even try. Problems arise when we judge perfection by our own standards as opposed to GOD’s. In Matthew 5:48, Jesus tells us to be perfect as GOD is perfect. Christian perfection is not about us being free from errors, but learning to live with a pure motivation of loving GOD and others. Instead of allowing fear of imperfection to hold you back, let us allow GOD to shape your idea of what it means to live active lives of love.

Disorganization often shows itself in terms of not having goals or a poorly understood purpose. Jesus gave us our purpose when He ascended into heaven: to share His light and love with the world to help others know about salvation in Jesus Christ through the forgiveness of sins. When we have disorganized goals, our priorities are misplaced, meaning we settle for good things as opposed to the great things that are in store for us thanks to GOD Almighty!

So often, when we engage in procrastination, we settle for good things as opposed to great things! GOD wants great things for us and our ability to achieve them rests only in our active faith in following GOD. In following GOD, He addresses our fears, bent toward misunderstood perfectionism, and poorly defined purpose and goals. This leads me to my two honorable mentions for this article…

Lack of Desire: Often times, when we procrastinate, it is because we do not want to do what we are called/asked/required to do. When we know our purpose in life and service, then our lack of desire can be overcome with fulfillment of purpose. All of us have to do things that we don’t want to do; say, for example, taking out the trash. No one enjoys taking out the trash, but we know that if we do not, garbage will pile up, begin to stink, attract pests, and cause all kinds of nasty germs and bacteria. There is a payoff in virtually every situation for doing the things we don’t want to do when we follow-through. Now take this to a spiritual level and think of the things that can be accomplished for the Lord Jesus Christ when we are faithful!

Guilt: Guilt plays a significant role in procrastination, and typically after we have already begun procrastinating. When we put something off that really needs to be done, guilt feelings can creep into our consciousness. After a period of time, the guilt feelings grow, making us think that we would feel worse for actually doing the task, because of how it exposes our procrastination. The good news, however, is that in Christ there is no condemnation, so grace is extended, enabling us to serve GOD as we should, even in the face of past procrastination.

One last little thought about condemnation, though, and this strikes at the heart of procrastination as a tool in spiritual warfare. We have an enemy that would love nothing more than for GOD’s people to put off doing good in the name of the Lord. Additionally, Satan would also love to see us settle for doing good things as opposed to the great things GOD has in store for us.

These points came up in response to The Message’s interpretation of Jesus’ teaching in Luke 9.62: “Jesus said, ‘No procrastination. No backward looks. You can’t put God’s kingdom off till tomorrow. Seize the day.’” May these words serve as a great reminder for how Jesus wants us to live our lives! Don’t procrastinate…announce GOD’s love…seize the day! ProcrastiNOT, my friends!

Have a wonderful 4^th of July and a great rest of the week! I look forward to seeing you Sunday!

Pastor Mark